I want to be perfectly clear that I’m not claiming any special knowledge or experience here. I’ve looked after people’s kids sometimes, and have one of my own (born in 2014). That’s it. I speak purely from what I’ve learnt (and I speak only for me, by the way). This is me writing down my thoughts on parenting, and what’s working for me.
I’m not out to give unsolicited advice – but maybe it’ll be useful advice if you’re asking. If anyone’s sent you a link to this in a passive aggressive sort of way, and in fact you’re perfectly happy parenting your way, feel free to nut them.
What qualifies me to speak about laziness at all?
I am not, by nature, a lazy person. I am a multitasker and an Achiever. I enjoy lists and labels and organisation. Unchecked, I would spend the day cleaning things and then filing them. This is my attempt to check myself, so I don’t miss my children – we’ve all heard it before, but your children are children for a terrifyingly short time. It’s easy to miss.
I tried to conceive for over three years, and finally achieved it when I started being lazy. Pregnancy was a joy to me, with its inbuilt excuse to be lazy whenever you like. Three weeks after I gave birth to my daughter, I got thrown the ultimate ‘sit the hell down and enjoy this’ message, when I slipped a disc in my back, and was unable to walk any significant distance, at times not at all, for months. It culminated in spinal surgery. It was a painful time, and very difficult for my wife. I learned a lot about the kindness of strangers (as well as friends). But I also learned to chill the fudge out.
So, am I now a shining beacon of perfect laziness?
God, no. I can’t say this enough. I’ve found a way that works for me, when I do it. So I’m trying to share this with others, and hammer the message home to myself.